


Lost in Reality

by Roseish



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pokemon Ranger
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Post-Operation Brighton, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, vatonageshipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-03-23 14:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roseish/pseuds/Roseish
Summary: Monsters lurk in the corners of our minds. They prowl and snarl at any sense of happiness, ushering in a darkness with each step they take.These creatures take on many different forms to slowly tear us apart. Some tether us to our beds, refusing to let us walk under the beautiful sun. Some of them suffocate us in crowds, their claws tearing at our throats with a crowing laugh ringing in our ears.For Kate Hitomi, Hero of Almia, vanquisher of shadows, bringer of light, her mind is nothing but darkness. Ever since she was young the monsters have manifested themselves as nightmares. However they are worse than they've ever been. Kate can't close her eyes without screams rising in her chest, her entire body trembling and laced in a cold sweat.It kills her friends to see her like this. But what can they do? Keith can only hold her as she cries. Rhythmi can only listen with their hands intertwined. The fight is no longer tangible, or as easy to capture a raging pokemon.For the war rages within Kate's mind.





	1. Chapter 1

The air was filled with glass-shattering screams. Bodies littered the ground like leaves in fall, and a red river swam across the earth. And there, a brunette stood in the center of it all, the red uniform drenched in a dark ooze. A Starly swooped down, beak gleaming with the intent to kill. However the woman's arm flung out. Her hand wrapped around the frail Starly's throat, grey pin feathers squeezing between her fingers.

Starly screeched out as its lungs stretched. The bird wildly thrashed its talons, hoping to just give a single scratch fruitlessly. A laugh erupted from the woman, but all light was gone from her blue eyes. With her other hand, She ensnared the Starly's throat further. She twisted it. And twisted and turned until it snapped. She kept turning. Turning and turning and turning until the skin broke away and started to unravel like twine.

"Kate, stop!" A voice called and each note trembled out. Pounding footsteps skidded to a stop as the brunette turned to look at who spoke. Her eyebrows furrowed, lips slanting down slightly as she examined the unfamiliar man. His spiked hair was painted with a red mosaic and framed his long face. A pair of russet eyes burned into her, so wide and so innocent. "This isn't you! Look around, this isn't something you'd do, is it?"

The brunette scratched just beneath one of her short pigytails. She feigned a gaze around to the battered field around her. The barren horizon was stained with the bleeding sunset, setting the world ablaze. A beautiful, pale corpse lied a few paces away. It had golden hair reflecting the light was knotted and gnarled down to their waist. Blood drooled from the body's throat and mingled with a matching red gem necklace.

The redhead took another step towards the woman, "Kate, please listen me. I don't want to hurt you," the woman looked back with an ocean churning behind her blue eyes, "See? That's Rhythmi... She was your friend. And Starly, they were your friend too. Now, we can work this out, just..." he held his hands out as if he were talking down a rampaging pokemon. Hands extended out, palms facing the woman who merely cocked her head.

He was only maybe three feet away now. He took one more step, "Take my hand, Kate." His beautiful eyes were like jewels. They glistened with something the woman couldn't grasp. They were desperate, hopeful, begging. His bottom lip trembled. His fingers shook in the empty air between them.

The Brunette closed the distance with a slip of her step. Her hand met his, and for a moment the redhead smiled. His muscles relaxed as he began to open his arms, wanting to wrap the woman up. The man's intent was shattered though, as she wretched him down.

Behind her eyes was nothing. Her face was glazed with calm as not a single muscle twitched into a smile nor a frown.

The woman leapt out at her victim. Her feet kicked their fiery head into the unforgiving earth. Her fingers lunged out and began to claw. She focused her eyes on the prey's back and growled something not quite human. The man behind her wailed, "Kate, please!" His voice broke with sobs, but the woman didn't care as she continued to scratch. Rip. Tear. Shred.

She wouldn't stop as the clothing fell away like air. Clumps of skin swelled under her nails as she continued to scratch. Blood bubbled up from the back she tore at, coating her hands. It was so warm, burning really. It boiled on her skin but it only fueled her onslaught. The red liquid gurgled and sputtered into the air. She was like a berserk Kabutops as she ripped away the man's muscles. It was like tearing through guitar strings. Soon, the pearly bone of a spine began to shine through.

The man's words were lost as he could only sob and scream. Not a single thing coherent fell from his lips as his life drained away. Every second drew out like an eternity. Bile rose in his throat as he stole a glance at the woman he once loved. She was obscured by the salty tears steaming his vision, but he knew. He knew the Kate he loved was gone.

The monster before him killed him in every way.

The woman cracked a smirk as the victim shrieked. Her fingers latched around the spine and with a great heave, muscles snapped away like fraying wires. Blood freckled against the woman's olive skin. Little bits of the liquid hooked on her bottom lip and she quickly licked it off with a swipe of her tongue. The metallic flavor danced in her mouth for a moment before she spit onto the dirt beneath her.

The body beneath her writhed, seized, screamed into a world that would not respond nor answer its plea. The woman continued to laugh as her claws broke apart each disc with a pop. She fashioned them between each of her fingers and continued to cut the man. She threw the man onto his ravaged back and earned a new sweet scream as dirt filled the victim's wounds. The bones dug into their own body, gutting through his stomach and pulling out tender pink intestines to gurgle out bile onto the ground.

She relished in each tortured scream. Chills ran down her spine as she continued to tug at his insides. The skeletal claws she created ripped open at his breast bone and she dropped the spine to cut into his heart. She danced her fingers through his ribs, clawing at his lungs as his chest was torn open for the entire world to see.His struggled gasps resembled a magikarp on land. Even though air was all around, the man couldn't catch his breath. It gave the brunette a good laugh. He so easily let her in.

He was so pathetic. 

Soon, the woman's victim slowed. His shambling becoming still as his empty amber eyes drifted away. The woman leaned down so she was nose to nose with the man. Her breath felt warm, puffing out a small cloud of mist as the chilly evening set in. The brunette's fingers caressed over the man's paper-like skin. Her grime-encrusted nails tracing over his cheek. She never broke eye contact and saw her own reflection in his glazed eyes.

"Who are you?"


	2. Chapter 2

Kate's heart exploded in her chest. Blood rushed to her fingers and toes, making them tingle. Sweat laced her forehead and coated the back of her neck. Taking in a shivered breath, Kate's entire body trembled and skin burned.

Breath, breathe, breathe, Kate repeated to herself but none of it worked as the grotesque images fluttered back behind her eyes. She swung her head around in the suffocating darkness towards her alarm clock.

2:19 AM.

The single light source gave an eerie green glow, bouncing off the few objects littered across the room.

The mangled body of the redhead bounced back in her mind, bringing tears to her eyes. Her vision fogged and her shaking turned violently uncontrollable. Kate kicked away her covers as she sobbed. Kate's chest heaved and ached as if a rock pounded at it. Her pajama knees started to sop as she sobbed with arms pulling her legs close. Keith, Oh Arceus, Keith, She bounced back and forth on her heels.

The sheets beside Kate shifted and rustled. She immediately stopped, her raw throat hitching with a small choke as she tried to silence herself.

"Hun?" a voice mumbled, half cut off by a pillow. However the speaker shot up after catching a half-eyed glance at Kate wrapped in fetal position. "Kate, breathe." His arms wound around Kate, pulling the woman close to his heart. "Breathe, it was only a dream. You're right here, next to me, at home. I'm right here. Breathe."

Kate's arms immediately latched around her husband's waist. Her muffled sobs came full power as she nearly screamed in the man's chest, "It was so real, Keith, I thought-- I thought... I killed."

Her tears soaked Keith's white t-shirt quickly, but he didn't mind as he began to draw circles in Kate's shoulder with his fingers. "I know, sweetie, I know. But nothing happened. No one is dead. And they were always bad guys in your dreams, right? It's okay."

At Keith's mention of bad guys, Kate's air latched in her throat. Her head felt too light as each of her staggered breaths couldn't get enough air. Her lungs burned and pressed into her ribs in each wail. But she had to say it. She had to say it out loud so she could hear it.

"Breathe, hun, breathe," Keith said, his gentle whisper soothing Kate. Time passed and a great silence stretched its arms around the couple, but the two just pulled themselves closer.

The sniffles slowed as Keith rocked Kate into a calm. She didn't want to, but Kate pulled herself to lock eyes with her husband. His amber eyes made the world just seem that much brighter, and her heart tightened. Her lips trembled as the words came out, each broken in their own regard, "Keith, I killed you."

The momentary hesitation was enough for Kate to snap once more. Tears started to burn back down her flared cheeks. Kate tried to suck up the snot starting to run down to her mouth. Keith's shirt balled up in her hands and stretched out his collar.

Keith brought her back to his heart. His fingers gingerly brushed through Kate's sandy hair. "That's new," he wanted to ask so much more. He wanted to know about the dream as the questions pressed against his lips. Years ago he would've asked. But right now, that's not who he had to be, "But it doesn't matter. Look, I'm right here. Everything is okay."

"No, no, no it's not. Why would I hurt you?" Kate's songful voice fractured. Trembles took over her entire body again. Keith's hand danced over of Kate's burning shoulder as he mumbled reassurance just by the tip of her ear. "These dreams are scaring me. They are getting worse and worse and-- what if one day I actually hurt someone? I'm afraid... I am so afraid of myself." Each word tore at her throat, stretching it like taffy. She folded further in on herself, pulling shaking hands away to stare at them as if they weren't her own. Her fingernails stretched too long, chipped in multiple places, and her cuticals curled back and popped.

Her stomach churned as she couldn't stop seeing the died blood that never existed encrusting her hands.

Keith reached down and gently took her hands. His thumb brushed over the top of them and he pulled the tired fingers to his lips. Kate met Keith's gaze and he pushed a smile to her, one she couldn't replicate no matter how hard she tried. "breathe. It'll all be okay, I promise," he cooed to his wife. Her lips twitched, trying to pull into any sort of smile she could muster. It was like her face was made of stiff clay until she finally gave up, dropping her head back into Keith's shoulder. 

Time slugged along and Kate's eyes finally ran out of tears to cry. Giving a small pat to Keith's shoulder, she pulled away and dragged herself from the bed. "I have to use the bathroom."

Keith's hushed goodbye was barely heard while Kate trudged down the hall of their apartment and to the single bathroom where a leaking faucet dripped every few seconds. She winced the minute she flipped the light switch. Light poured out into the inky muck of the night. Kate nudged the door shut with her still trembling arms.

A gentle tug easily opened the medicine cabinet behind their bathroom mirror. She snatched the nail clippers and shut the door, facing herself. The florescent lights brought out everything that shadows hid. Her cheekbones pushed forward to stretch her green tinted skin too tightly. charcoal-like rings hung under her eyes and clung to each bag of her sunken expression. Kate's matted hair fell past her shoulders, unevenly chopped and splitting at the ends. She looked more dead than alive.

She sighed, wiping the residual snot away from her bony nose. Plopping down onto the toilet seat, Kate dragged over a little grey trashcan from nearby. The metal clippers snapped each nail down. Kate hissed as she continued to snip farther and farther into her nail beds. Each purposeful trim brushed her nails so far back that the air stung against her bare fingertips.

The little nail bits pittered against the trash bag in contrast with the patter of the faucet. A few strayed away and settled onto the porcelain tiles. Kate huffed, knowing she'd have to sweep them up sooner than later. Maybe she'd work on cleaning the entire bathroom tonight. Arceus knew she wouldn't be going back to bed. Kate settled her head into her hands, just trying to breathe one moment at a time.

"I think it's time to call Erma."

Peeking just out of her little fold, Keith stood in the doorway with a steaming cup of hot chocolate. By his knee was his pokemon partner, Floatzel, flicking his twin tails with a tight expression. Sitting on Keith's shoulder was the close partner of Kate, Starly. The little bird gave a struggled tweet, obviously hurting to see their friend like this.

The thick cocoa scent wafted to the air and lured Kate in. Keith took a few steps in and handed the piping mug down to Kate. He plied the nail clippers from her in exchange, setting them onto the plastic sink counter. "And tell her what? I've had a few bad dreams? Boohoo," she said before taking gentle sips.

"Kate, these are more than just bad dreams. They wake you up terrified, and you won't fall back asleep," Keith replied running his fingers over his hair. His skin was too pale. Worry lines scrunched up on his forehead, making him seem older than he was. Kate just rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. But a suffocating atmosphere settled between them, tethering each one with a rope of guilt. Keith bit at his lower lip with a small shake of his head, "And, can you tell me why you're trimming your nails at 2:30 in the morning?"

"So I don't accidentally scratch anyone. Or hurt them," Kate averted her eyes to the metal clippers glinting to her. The knees of Kate's pants became bunched in her tightened grip, "On purpose."

Keith continued to shake his head, "And will you remind me why you turned yourself into the Rangers and I had to pick you up from the station?"

"I-- I thought that I snuck into prison to kill Blake Hall."

"And you gave half the Ranger Union a heart attack when you did that." Keith's voice began to rise when he held his arms out. Bits of fiery hair flicked between his wide eyes, "When they sent down an team to clean out his cell they found him peacefully reading a book on economics, not a single scratch. And--and you know, I was so happy when you actually left the house that day. I thought you might've finally taken on a mission."

"Why would I? I'd just let them down," Kate said, rubbing her cup of cocoa rhythmically. Her shoulders slouched and she curled in closer to the hot chocolate. She shrunk so it felt like she wasn't even there. Like she could just disappear if she a little bit smaller.

Keith paid no mind to the vanishing Kate as he pressed on, "And that's exactly why you haven't left the house in months. You're gonna let Erma down. You'll let the client down. For Arceus Sake, you thought you'd let Rhythmi down at the birthday dinner party she was holding for you." His knit brow softened but he continued to press, "You are the Hero of Almia, Kate, everyone loves you."

Each word came like a knife. They dug and burrowed into her skin and pulled her chest so tight it strangled her. She knew that she had a good life. Air pulled out from her lungs. That she had amazing friends. Her arms trembled, the cup dragging her down like a weight. That her family was always so supportive of her. Kate's stomach became knotted and gnarled as the burning sensation of vomit rose into her throat.

She had no reason to feel so broken inside. The blue walls spun around Kate. a fazed black ate a way at the corner of her vision. But no matter, the chilling truth is that she was. Kate's voice cracked out, "Please stop... I already know I'm a horrible person. Please don't throw it all back in my face."

Keith froze, watching the tears well back up in Kate's glassy eyes, "Look I-- You're not horrible. You're amazing, kind, thoughtful and I love you so, so, so much. I'm just worried about you, sweetie." He paced over, setting Kate's hot chocolate on the sink counter.

"Stop..." Kate's squeaked. Her body drooped with each falling tear, dripping like the broken faucet. Every word from his mouth was just a lie. That's what she said to herself. And that fact pulled at every string inside her apart.

Keith clasped her shoulders, hoping that Kate would look up and see his pleading face. His heart tightened as he held the husk of a ranger. "I'd give you the entire world if it could just bring a single smile back to your beautiful face. But I don't know what else to do, Kate."

"I'm sorry..."

Keith's heart plummeted down to his gut and shattered on impact. His fingers squeezed Kate just a bit tighter. Pulling her into his embrace, he stared straight to the wall behind her. His lip trembled but he continued to tell himself to stay strong, "Please, please call Erma. You wouldn't be the first ranger to be suffering. She probably knows someone you can talk to. And maybe— maybe this is all really simple. it must be just some after effect of Darkrai's void during operation Brighton."

Kate sniffled. Her body winding up like a toy soldier as she remembered the mission, "That was over five years ago, Keith."

"Yeah, but it would make sense, right? Darkrai brings nightmares. There's probably some sort of artifact to make it all go away." Keith pulled back, pushing forward a simpering smile. His eyebrows furrowed with a desperation as if he were convincing not one but two people.

The former ranger before him gave a long stare. Her blue eyes churned like the ocean while she frowned. Not a single muscle moved out of place and Keith could have sworn a stone statue took her place before Kate finally shook her head with a heavy sigh.

Keith knew this was barking up the wrong tree, at least for right now. He continued to finger his hair. He scanned each inch of the bathroom like he could find the right words written on the walls. "But-- but for now, you should talk to someone," the love and light of his life still couldn't look him in the eye, "Please."

Starly looked between the two rangers, giving a ruffle of her feathers. Floatzel patted overt to Kate and placed a small paw on her buckled knees. Brown locks of hair barred Kate's vision as she glanced up to the three worriers all cramped into the bathroom. Sniffling for the final time, Kate forced a stiff nod, "I'll call Erma."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! Yay! I actually wrote this awhile ago and just kind of spaced on posting... And chapter 3 is also finished... You'd think I'd remember to post, right?


	3. Chapter 3

"Thanks for driving me to school, Kate."

Kate gave a split glance away from the road, pushing a smile to the young girl sitting behind the driver's seat, "Anything for you, Clara." The child was only eight years old, her blonde hair slightly roasted with a brown tint was tied into two pigtails with sky blue ribbons. Clara wore a white blouse, buttoned to the collar, and a skirt to match her ribbons. Kate looked back to the paved road ahead, very careful of each thing around their car, "I have an appointment today so I thought I would help up mom and pa."

She rolled her fingers over the steering wheel. Kate barely noticed how her knuckles turned white, but how could she not be nervous? She had precious cargo aboard the car. Kate stole one more look back to her sister who smiles held more light than the sun.

"So, what are you learning in school right now?"

"About rangers and stuff."

A smirk drew across Kate's expression, locking eyes with Clara in the rear-view mirror, "Oh! Have you told your class yet how your big sister is the Kate Hitomi, member of the Brighton Operation and defeated a raging legendary and put Blake Hall behind bars?"

Clara's face dimmed, shoulders shrinking as the young girl looked back out her window to see the passing city. "Not really," she said under her breath.

"What?" Kate's grip tightened on the wheel, speeding up just slightly, "I mean, that's your decision, but... You don't want people to, like, put you above them right? Like, holding too high of expectations for you since your sister was successful. I-- I understand that. Living in a shadow has no road to true happiness."

Clara still kept her eyes out the window, "That's not it."

The car was held in a drowning silence where neither head gave an inch. After a few minutes passed, Kate grumbled an exaggerated sigh, "Are you going to tell me what 'it' is?"

The small child flinched at her sister's venomous tone, "Well... Our teacher said that Blake Hall was our key to re-new-able energy in Almia. And that... When the rangers put him in jail-- that it ruined our energy system. Saying the rangers have to learn about res-s-sponsibility. And I... I don't want to tell teacher that I am related to someone they dislike."

She's embarrassed of me! Kate growled, pulling into the school's parking lot. The fire rising into her chest was quickly swallowed when she exited the car with a slam. She kept a mechanical composure as Kate glided to the back door. 

Opening the door for Clara, Kate gave a chilling smile down to her sister. Clara's skin rose with goosebumps and tried to just focus on the pavement as she swung her legs to leap out of the car.

Her shins met a painful crash. A shriek filled the parking lot as every nerve in Clara became ablaze. Tears had already formed swollen pools when another crash came to her legs. Over and over until her legs felt like shattered glass, "Kate, stop!"

Kate repeatedly slammed the door. The metal lining tearing into Clara's skin. First came dark bruises, deep purple with a blue frost around them. Then skin popped, tearing away and leaving exposed muscle. "You weren't there; you don't know what happened! Stop lying to me, you brat!"

Clara wailed, trying to jerk her legs away, but they refused to move. The onslaught of the door came over and over. Soon, fractured pieces of bone poked out. "Sissy, please!" Clara sobbed, her face flooded with tears. She could barely make out words between her own screams. One moment she flew her arms down as the door was swung wide. She had a second. A second to pull her legs back into the car and lock it from the inside.

"I'm no sissy! I'm the bravest person here! I'll show you," Kate's misinterpretation only sent anger boiling through her own blood. Her next slam of the door coming down harder and faster than any of the last.

Blood sprayed out like popped a water balloon, running like a river underneath the car. The metal sliced into Clara's arms and her raw throat gave out one great howl. Pain overcame every sense as the metallic smell wafted through the air. In a flash, everything had gone dark for Clara.

Though it didn't stop Kate as she relentlessly continued to slam the door. The limbs caught in between were twisted and gnarled into bloody knot. Kate wound up her arms, her muscles swelling with power, as she gave one final monstrous blow.

 

Her eyes flickered open, only to meet the darkness. The room felt so small when shrouded by the night. Her heart thumped like she had just ran a marathon. Kate flailed forward, gasping for any ounce of air, fingers clutched around her heart. 

Sweat and tears mingled down her cheek and Kate's stomach screamed as she saw the images of her battered sister. "Oh Arceus, oh Arceus what have I done," she whispered. Her throat was as coarse as sand paper but she immediately reached for her cell phone sitting on her nightstand. It may have been 1am, but she had to call, "Ma, pa... Please pick up. Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Oh Clara, Arceus, what have I done."

No answer.

She dials up her old home phone once more. The stone bobbing in her throat grew larger with each ring. "Arceus, I bet they're at the hospital," Kate said, pulling her phone back to hang up. Maybe she'd call pa's cell phone.

"Hello?"

The distance voice broke through the speaker just as Kate brushed the end-button. She jerked the phone back, hoping she didn't cancel the call, "Hello, Are you still there? Ma? Pa?"

"Who is this?" the grogged voice said with a yawn.

Kate flinched. The voice was strange, not one she'd heard before, "This is Kate. Kate Hitomi. Um--" She wanted to ask who she was speaking to but her moment was cut off.

"OMA, Kate! Wow, ma and pa have been hoping for you to call, but no one was expecting 1 AM," the haze of exhaustion dissipated as laughter crowed over the phone, "Sorry, this is Clara. All my friends say I sound different over the phone."

"Clara?" Kate said, batting her eyes owlishly. The voice seemed-- lower? More mature. It was nothing like her sister's sugary pitches, "Why are you awake this late?"

One could practically hear the speaker's smile through the phone as she spoke, "I mean you could say I'm just up really early depending on your perspective. Anyways, I have a big presentation I'm giving in my robotics class tomorrow and I'm putting my final touches on the project."

"Robotics?" Kate asked, her head reared back. The further this conversation went, the more her mind became cluttered. Clara's only 10 and her elementary school provides a class like that? Kate knew that the education systems were trying to reform and teach students more while school was still free, but this was preposterous.

"Yeah! My teacher even wants me to join our school team. Isn't that so cool?" the girl continued on chattering. It seemed like she wasn't even breathing as each word flew into the other, "If I'm lucky and try hard enough, he says I can probably get into the Ranger Academy with a full scholarship!"

"Woah, you're really thinking ahead there," Kate laughed quietly.

"I mean, not really. I guess things are different here in Almia than they were back in Fiore. They started having us think about college back in 7th grade and now that high school has kicked in, it's like a super huge pressure," Clara said with a babbling of high school stressors following. However the words drifted through the air as Kate continued to run two words through her mind.

High school. 

Kate scoffed slightly. She shook her head gently with eyes focused to her crumpled covers. Just how much has she missed? "I-- I can understand though," Kate whispered into the phone, straining herself to sound as normal as possible, "Well... So the Ranger Academy? Following the steps of your older sister?"

A light laugh echoed over the line and burned a smile into Kate's cheeks as Clara spoke, "Nah. I mean, you're like super cool sis, but I wanna become a mechanic. I have like zero stamina," they both broke into laughter. Memories of the two racing in the fields of Fiore came back, Kate always lapping her little sister. "But I didn't want to be an operator. Everyone expects the girls to do that, and that the rangers and mechanics are the 'man's' job. You proved them wrong by being the best ranger. Now I'm gonna show off my skill."

Maybe Kate would've been mad. Angry that her little sister didn't want to be a ranger, just like her. But a warmth swelled up in Kate's heart as she listened to her sister gush. The ideal of someone following in her footsteps dissipated for she could hear the burning passion igniting within Clara. 

"I'm not offended in the least. That sounds amazing, Clara," She breathed, knowing the girl was going to shine bright in the future. And if Kate could, she would lend a hand where ever she could, "You know, I can set you up to work with Elaine. She's a woman who's crushing it in the same field and you'd probably learn a lot."

Clara gasped, "Really? OMA, Kate! I'd love that. Thank you, thank you, thank you!" For once Kate's smile grew genuine. It was so hard not to around Clara. No matter what age, Clara was like a burning light that cast joy across whatever she touches.

The two chattered for a bit. Nostalgia pulled at each phrase with hope of the future brimming with every word. Soon though, night drags people back to sleep. Or for some, work.

Clara's yawn broke across the phone and each word was pulled along, "Alright, it's been super nice talking to you but I need to continue my project. I'd love to talk to you more another time. Ma and pa would too."

Kate's expression fractured. Her eyes fell back to her covers as she rustled her toes between the sheets. Her voice was laced with light like a cup overflowing, she tried too hard, "Alright, make sure to get some sleep."

"You too."

The ending sound rang, filling up all that is Kate. She sighed heavily. Kate still held the phone against her cheek as if she kept waiting, her sister's voice would return. Finally, her arm fell with the phone in hand. Kate followed along and flopped back against her pillow, glazed eyes dancing over the ceiling. 

"Everything okay, hun?"

Kate shifted onto her shoulder towards the inside of her bed, eyes meeting the amber gleam of Keith's. "Yeah..." she said, her eyes shutting as the lie burned on her tongue, "No. I-I had a dream I hurt Clara. Really badly. I just called home to see if she was okay and, and, and--- It was just a dream. I talked to her." Kate's eyes opened back, with eyebrows knit together. She fought back the tears with batting blinks.

Keith reached over to brush stray hairs from her face, "That's good. I bet she's been wanting to talk to you for awhile. How are things swinging for her?"

"Good. Really good," Kate chuckled with a small choke at the sadness crawling through her throat, "Keith, did you know she's in high school now?"

"Mhmm. She's eight years younger than you, so it makes sense."

"Arceus, that means she's 15! Where the hell did the time go?" Kate snaked her fingers with Keith's hand. He squeezed her gently. Silence dragged Kate closer as she rubbed her forehead against their interlocked hands, "I feel like I'm absent from my own sister's life."

The ranger looked down at his wife, face crinkling together with a bittersweet twinkle to his eyes. He knew. He knew that she had the opportunities, however it was so hard for Kate these days. 

His voice sank to be like feathers as he spoke, "We were invited to her middle school graduation ceremony. Remember? But you weren't feeling well and spent the day in bed."

Kate flinched, "Oh. Did you--"

"I went. She held her diploma with so much pride. When she was on that stage, there was a fire in her eyes. But, Clara, she just about cried when I had to tell her you weren't there."

"Oh..."

The serpent of silence slid back, twisting and entangling itself around Kate until she felt suffocated. She scrunched up and tucked herself further into the blankets. A dark spiral began to paint her mind, eyes fading further into the distance as they stayed in the same place. Keith tried to hold her tighter as she faded away into her own mind. He knew. He knew if she went there, there was no telling when she'd return.

Desperately, he tried to reel her back as he said, "Did you call Erma yesterday?"

A tiny nod gave the sign that she wasn't completely gone yet, "She was nice. Really happy to talk to me too. I have an appointment with 'the best' psychologist in their network tomorrow. Erma did so much for someone like me." Someone dripped out of her mouth as if it were something wretched. 

Kate continued, "I avoid the field for years and she takes care of me like I'm her own. I--I wish she wouldn't. It just hurts so much more, Keith. I wanted her to yell at me. Tell me that I needed to do more, work harder. And-- And she just said in her sweet voice, 'I hope your pain eases soon.'"

Everything that Keith heard pulled at his heart. Worst of all, he still didn't know what else to do but pull her close and say, "There, there."

"I feel like I've been left behind in everyone's lives." 

Kate curled into his chest. No tears tonight. Just this spanning emptiness where words just fell endlessly into. Keith's warmth radiating against her reminded Kate just for a moment that she wasn't completely gone. But she knew it wasn't enough. It wasn't a cure. This shattered feeling cutting through her being couldn't be shaken away with a simple kiss on the forehead.

From the darkness engulfing her, Kate had to breathe and tell herself there was something wrong. And she had to work for it if she wanted to change.


	4. Chapter 3

Cotton sheets twisted around Kate as she snuggled further into the covers. The early sun had begun drooling in, striking the walls with a cold blue morning. She groaned at the light before smooshing her face under a pillow.

"You have to get up at some point, Sweetie," Edging his way closer, Keith sat beside the caccooned woman.

"No I don't," Kate grunted as she curled in on herself. "I'm still tired."

Keith rubbed Kate's shoulder, "don't you have your therapy today?"

"I'll cancel."

The smile on Keith's lips sunk, "Hun, it's the first meeting." There was no reply. "Look, the therapist specializes in rangers and operates out of the ranger union, right? I'll give you a ride there since I have to stop by and drop off my mission report."

Kate scoffed, finally rolling over to face Keith, "Mission reports? You barely turned in your homework at the Academy." A ghost of a smile echoed over her face for a moment.

At the comment, Keith's chest puffed out. His black and white uniform stretching as he pulled his red jacket with a spark of confidence, "I'll have you I'm a very responsible ranger! School was boring, writing about stuff that happened over 50 whole years ago." Keith flared his arms out with a scrunched expression as if he bit into something bitter. It melted away into a soft warmth as he looked back to Kate, "Now I get to write about cool shit, like diving to the bottom of the ocean to battle a frickin legend so to stop raging tsunamis. Writing reports is like leaving evidence for whichever lucky soul gets to write my epic, life changing, biography."

The man continued to flail is arms around dramatically as each word came with a wind of life. Kate nodded along as Keith narrated his aquatic saga. Her eyebrows relaxed as she watched the love of her life ramble on with passion hanging on each word. He would turn to look at Kate frequently, and each time their eyes met, his smile spread further into his cheeks.

It was like the first time Keith breathed in his entire story. His shoulders settled as he rubbed Kate's shoulder and said, "I am gonna go get our ride ready, I'll meet you outside in a few."

"Kay," Kate whispered as Keith rose to leave the room.

She twisted and turned in bed for a few minutes. Finally, she loosed a sigh of defeat as she rolled out of bed. Rubbing her eyes, she began to get ready. She went with the first thing she grabbed as she meandered around the bedroom softly. Kate paused at the full body mirror tiredly as she tied up her hair into two ponytails. They were quickly wrapped up at the base of her skull, drooping to skim her shoulder blades.

She wondered how long it had been since she had trimmed her hair. Or even showered for that fact. Grease stuck to her fingers as she pulled her hands away. Kate attempted to clean them off by wiping them off against her dark sweatpants.

Giving a last look over to her reflection, Kate pulled her red bomber jacket further in. She hoped no one would notice her bra through the white tank top. "Maybe I should just change the shirt..." She mumbled, blue eyes scrunching up. But she wasn't going to. These were ranger colors.

These were her colors.

When Kate stepped out of her apartment door, she had no need to look for Keith. There he stood, grooming a feathered beast beside him. "Raptoooor," The creature cawed the moment it saw Kate. Her little Starly sat upon the Staraptor's head, the size of the two pokemon towering over the rangers.

"Hop on," Keith said as he climbed on to the flying-type.

Kate just shook her head, "I thought you meant you'd take me to the Union in a car."

"Hey, I said I'd take you to the Union, never said how," A smirk curled against Keith's lips, "Come on, this is a lot faster and we avoid traffic. Unless you're, you know, scared?"

Kate's eyebrows shot up at the challenge, "You're playing a dangerous game, Dazzle."

"Only for you, Hitomi-Dazzle," Keith replied, putting emphasis on the last name as he reached out. Kate scoffed, but still took his hand. Staraptor stretched as they watched Starly soar on ahead of them. Their steed gave a valiant screech before unfurling its wings. Within moments, they were up in the air. Wind thrashed and beat against Kate's pearly face, throwing her pigtails wildly behind them like a banner.

Plumed clouds swam past them in white streaks across the ocean of sky. Their home of Pluetown, their region's great metropolis, was nothing but a collection of grey specks the further they rose. As Kate looked about the endless horizon, she caught her partner.

Little Starly glided beside them, her feathers fluttering in the headwinds. She dropped for a moments, wings closing together to turn away. Kate and Keith's own Staraptor began to lean in the opposite direction as a cotton cloud swelled up between the two birds.

Once they all were past the cloud, Staraptor evened out. Little Starly sprouted up from the lower winds and spiraled around them with a breath of life in each small motion.

Even Keith was caught up in the ordeal as he flung his arms back and rang on the top of his lungs, "Yahoo!" Staraptor joined in the cry, rising even higher. The warm light burned against Kate's skin and she turned to look above her. The afternoon sun burned directly over head. Something within Kate told her to reach for it, and she did. Her arm stretched and fingers flexed, but no matter how close they came, she couldn't reach the sun.

Her eyes came back down to look at the frame of Keith's back. She wondered when Keith's shoulder's had become so broad. His spiked hair seemed a bit shorter too. But as Kate looked at all those around her, she could only find one way to truly describe them.

They seemed free.

When the team landed at the Ranger Union, Keith took the time to thank Staraptor before releasing the great beast with his styler. Kate's partner snuggled onto her shoulder as the two rangers walked into the building. Starly nuzzled Kate's cheek as the woman waved goodbye to Keith. "You'll probably be off on a mission when I finish my appointment, so I'll walk home. I can pick up groceries," Kate said as she strolled towards the escalator.

"Alright, hun," Keith smiled, "I'll see you back at home." He quickly blew her a kiss before turning towards the receptionist. The sight of her husband quickly disappeared as Kate rolled up to the second floor.

Her feet skid against the ending mat, eyes fixed on the creamy yellow tiles that patterned ahead of her. Her breath shook for a moment before she stepped forward. The cold metal walls shrunk in around her as she moved down the hall. Red trimming wrapped around the top and bottom of the walls, as if fire was crawling in through the cracks. Kate skimmed her unkempt nails across her palm over and over. Teeth pulling at her lips, ripping bits of dead skin away

Starly beside Kate cooed. The two met eyes and the little bird cocked her head, tweeting again. Kate's expression slid, an smile too awkward to fit on her face, "Just a bit nervous." The little Starly began to brush her head against Kate's cheek, wings fluffing up as she hummed. "It feels like I haven't been here in forever..."

When she arrived to the office door, Kate waited until it was exactly 2pm before knocking. After a moment of waiting the door swung open. Kate's eyes gazed out a window for a few moments, with a few owlish blinks, before she peered down to a stout woman. The woman was quite a bit older than Kate, but couldn't have been over fifty. Her hair was twisted into a blonde braid over her shoulder and the makeup she wore was just a little two thick. The woman's penciled-in eyebrows rose, her ruby painted lips agape.

"You must be, Ms. Hitomi-Dazzle, I've seen photos of you in the paper!" The woman extended a hand out, "Good afternoon."

Kate gave a like greeting as she grasped the woman's hand, a polite smile painted on each of their expressions, "You can call me Kate, it'll be less of a mouthful to say."

"Fair," the therapist chuckled, "I'm Annabelle Willow. You can just call me Ann."

"Nice to meet you, Ann," Kate said with a mandated warmth.

The two took a seat, and thus the first meeting of many began. A ring of questions filled the time as Kate told of the darkness that has hung on her shoulder since she was just a child. Weeks where she was tethered to the bed, missing school, events and work. How this numb feeling would strangle the air around her throat into a noose. It would pull her further and further by the throat towards an endless nothingness.

Then came the nightmares. Kate's air slipped through webbed lungs as she trembled to tell the horrifying images, scenes, skies. She fought back tears as she painted it out what she had done in her dreams. How they pooled into her life today so much that she doesn't know what is real anymore.

"I-It's like I'm lost in reality," Kate said. Her eyes gazed into the wall behind Ann, "the world continues to move on without me. I... I was a hero before. But now I know, the keyword is that I was. The Rangers don't need me. They've got Wendy, Sven a-and Keith. I am just a name in books, that will one day mean nothing. The horrors I saw at Altru meant nothing..."

Ann nodded, scratching down notes quickly across her clipboard.

"Sorry, this all just sounds like a spoiled kid complaining that they don't get enough attention," Kate said, her posture shrinking.

The therapist's head rose, soft eyes matching a sadder smile, "Not at all Kate. Actually, what you're describing to me is Major Depressive Disorder; Depression. It's something quite common and treatable."

Kate looked up, "I'm... Depressed?" She blinked the small puddles forming in her eyes away. "But I've had a good life. I have loving parents— an amazing sister— I got the job of my dreams and married the love of my life... Do I deserve to be depressed?"

"May I speak candidly?"

"Uh— Yeah."

Ann shifted her glasses down her nose. The woman's piercing brown eyes burning into Kate, "that's Tauros shit. Depression doesn't just target those who've had a shitty life. It preys on anyone it can curl it's fingers on. Rich, poor, good, corrupt, kind and bitter. It is an illness in your head. Often the brain can't produce enough of a chemical like serotonin or dopamine, basically the smiley energy."

The former ranger was left quiet. Starly nuzzled against her, hoping to move a reaction. But Kate just locked her gaze onto the top of her hands.

"As for the nightmares," Ann mused while she glanced over her notes, "They seem to often tie back to the Rangers or Altru inc. I can't say for sure, but you may be suffering from PTS or PTSD. That night on Altru tower really shook you to the core, whether you'd like to admit it or not. It also probably elevated the depression you already had."

Kate nodded. A small voice poking in the back of her head. It grew louder and louder before deafening Kate. She finally opened her mouth to let the fear spill across the room, "is there a chance I could hurt someone?" Her eyes shivered as she looked to the ranger therapist. Kate couldn't bear if this meant she was able to hurt someone, if she did.

It would kill her.

Ann smiled, her voice like silk, "Everyone is capable of hurting others. Whether it may be purposefully, or accidentally from just saying the wrong words. But you mean in the twisted manner of your dreams."

Ann breathed as she took in all that was Kate Hitomi-Dazzle. Her rattata-hunched demenor. The blue pools for eyes that carried a kindness that would unravel everything Kate is if she kept on stretching as she was now.

"No." Ann said just a little more than a whisper, "Nightmares show us our greatest fears, weaknesses, and loss. If anything, your dreams are telling me you never want to harm those closest to you. It shows me how compassionate you are, Kate."

Kate hung her head. Those were words she has been dying to hear for years. But when they finally came, it felt like thousands of thorns were pulling her so tight, she would pop.

Is that really all?


	5. Chapter 5

"And then I walk into Booker's ship shop and the minute he looks at me, the geezer drops his hammer right onto his toes!" A old trio of laughter crackled through the air. It lifted the dark haze from Kate's vision as she walked from the therapist's office.

There before her stood the most respected people in the Ranger Union.

Kate's shoulders peeled back and puffed out her chest, "Erma, Hastings, Lamont." Boots clacked as she stood with her hand against her forehead in salute. Her eyes just skimmed above the forest of graying hairs. Kate kept her breath tightly locked away in her chest as she waited to be told "at ease."

But none came as the three turned to her. A sweet smile dripping onto each of their faces as their eyebrows knit in unison.

Erma was the first to shuffle forward. Her wooden cane pecking at the tiles as she tilted her head, "My darling, there is no need for such formalities."

Kate's muscles didn't twitch out of place as she held still like a statue. A stagnant air drifted between them all before the former ranger finally spoke, "I'm sorry for abandoning my post."

Professor Hastings surged forward but his quick tongue was caught by an old friend. Dean Lamont of the Ranger Academy reached his arm out against the scientist's chest. Hastings whipped his head around, ready to let it all out, but Lamont just shook his head. The man gave a nod towards Erma.

The leader in charge of the Ranger Union hobbled further. As Kate looked, it seemed as if the woman became even older. Erma's eyes sunk back and left dark rings hanging. The elder's stature was smaller, and her bones thinner.

Time was at a stand still for Kate.

But the world still went on.

"By the Legendaries, I don't mind, dear Kate." Her coarse voice scratched with sandpaper as she continued to close in on the postured Kate. "I too was a young and outgoing ranger, taking care of pokemon, seeing smiles worth more than anything in this world, saving lives. And I watched as mine fell apart."

Static ran through Kate's vains, but still remained ridged. Her eyes saw far out of this small building, and it seemed as if Kate wasn't even there. However Erma still continued.

First, the elder placed a hand on Kate's shoulder as a bittersweet song laced into Erma's voice, "This is a draining life you've chosen, darling. You give and you give so much that you don't have anything left. Kindness for miles, pulling every drop of life from you to reach everyone. I've been there. I lost the one I loved doing so, Kate." Two men from behind perked their attention, but a sadness was painted on both of their expressions.

Suddenly, the former ranger was pulled into a tight hug. Erma pulled the saluting Kate down to her height. It forced Kate looser, but she still stayed with her hand held above.

Erma brushed close, "Please Kate, don't repeat what I've done. I know I can't take your pain away, darling, but I would if I could and give you all the happiness in the world. But I can't do that, Kate. I don't know if anyone can just walk into our lives a fix all our broken pieces. But, what I want for all the rangers under my command, is to have a good life." As she pulled away, she met Kate's empty eyes, "At ease, Ranger."

Her arm fell limb beside her side as Kate split away. Erma stared with a hope up to Kate. A hope that she at least made it to the ranger's ears.

Kate nodded in silence. Her body pulling itself away from the trio. 

"You know, you'll always have a job here when you want to return," Hastings piped, hoping to steal one last bit of Kate back.

She just nodded again.

Lamont and Kate's eyes met, and it broke the Dean's heart. Graduation flickered back to his mind, as he stared out at all of his students. Each was clad with bright smiles and brighter futures. And he couldn't help but wonder if he could've done more for her to prevent this present. He was a teacher for her. A sense of responsibility lugged itself against Lamont's shoulders as he carefully said, "I hope you remember how to smile once more."

and the trio was finished as Kate slipped away. She and Starly took a leisurely walk through the wooded trail. Pokemon dashed across, playing and laughing in their own worlds between the old oaks. Life sang in the vibrant green world that she had saved from darkness. But it was nothing but a hazed dream for Kate as she floated through the way. 

She barely remembered making it to Pluetown, stopping by the grocery store. She gathered a few things here and there, referring to a text Keith sent with what they needed. She vaguely remembers seeing a pack of barbecue chips and thinking of her fiery husband. She causally tossed it into her cart but soon, all of that left. She found herself taking the keys from her pocket, and unlocking the apartment door with five white bags hanging at the crease of her elbows.

She quickly gave a glance to the sky. The sun melted against the horizon, dyeing the world a smoldering orange. Kate didn't process the cotton candy clouds of the magic night as she turned back to her door with a flat face of disinterest. 

As she shouldered her way in, Kate was met with Keith on their couch. "hey hun," he gave a quick wave before returning with scrunched eyes to his computer screen. Kate quickly walked in to put the groceries away.

"Much work today?" She brought herself to ask.

Keith scoffed, "Not really. Saved a Skitty from a tree. And I guess I calmed down those beedrill guarding the south entrance of Plutetown. But it was pretty much all low profile. Got home maybe an hour ago."

"Nice..." Kate continued to place a few stray aspear berries into their staple fruit bowl. She danced around the kitchen like a ghost as she put it all in place.

Keys clacked in the distance as Kate slid their milk into the fridge, "How was your first day of therapy? Good?"

"It was fine." Kate held the barbaque chips in her shaking hands, just on the border between the two rooms. "Lots of talking. My throat hurts."

Keith cracked a smile as he turned to look at her, "hey, it's something. It's starting, and I'm proud of you." Kate shrugged just as her husband locked eyes with the bag in her hand. "Are--- those for me?" 

Kate stepped into his room and softly patted against their fluffy carpet, "Yep. I can't remember the last time you had these, but you were obsessed with them during our days at the Academy." As she handed the chips over to Keith, Kate stole a look at what he searched. illustrations of a green and yellow feather filled his screen with words and tabs of mythology sites.

'Lunar wing.'

She winced, eyes sinking closed. Keith, why.

"You know, I saw our old Dean of the Academy, Mr. Lamont, at the Union today."

"Yeah?"

Kate pulled her pigtails out as she recounted her day, "Yeah. He was hanging out with Erma and Hastings. What a strong trio..." She began to trail away as she remembered how they all laughed. As she really thought about it, there was little freedom in their voices. The past is their last tether to one another. Erma spoke about losing the one she loved. Perhaps when she let whoever it was go, it hurt them all? "Reminds me of Rhythmi and us back from school."

Keith nodded, "I can see that. Sometimes I look at them and hope that we'll still be as tight as them when we are human raisins."

I hope not. "Yeah, that would be pretty sweet."

Silence stretched on as Kate continued to watch Keith scour the internet for every clue to something that didn't even exist. "Have you called Rhythmi recently?" Keith inquired as he scrolled.

"Hm. I can't remember."

"You should call her, you know that blonde will worry her hair out."

Kate ticked her head in half belief. Her mouth stretched into a pulling yawn, "I'm getting pretty tired. I'm gonna take a nap. I'll call her tomorrow."

Her husband called out the time, knowing it was only about six, "Aren't you going to eat dinner, sweetie?"

She fluttered her fingers through Keith's hair, "knock on the bedroom door when it's ready. I'll come out to eat with you."

Red eyebrows pulled down in sadness as Keith looked at his wife, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

She didn't look back as Kate made her way down the hall. Starly had already left to snuggle with Floatzle, leaving the ranger all alone in the shadows. The door gave a muted click as it closed behind Kate. Her head hung low with hair stealing what vision she had left in the dark room.

Kate slipped into bed without changing, her eyes unfocused as her world ebbed away. The darkness from all around beginning to seep into her mind as a tear rolled down.

"I know I'm not the only one, Erma... But right now, I just feel so alone."


	6. Chapter 6

Light dripped into Kate's room, burning away the shadows that blanketed the walls. Gentle sunbeams kissed Kate's face and ushered her back to our world. Her eyes carefully peel open to stare at the ceiling fan. The metal beam supporting fifty pounds with ease as the paddles spun slowly to shatter the dark and light.

"No nightmares," she said, a small smile pulling ear to ear. Her blue eyes reflected the light as small beads of tears swelled. Kate flipped over to Keith's side of the bed with a choked but high voice, "Keith. I didn't have any nightmares last night-- Keith... And you're gone." 

Kate stared tiredly at the empty sheets beside her. The alarm on the end table across from her read 12pm. Keith must have already left for work. He had only waited up for her yesterday since she had a therapist appointment. With a hefty sigh, Kate pushes her face into the collection of white pillows. Starly beside her head fluttered awake. The bird pokemon ruffled their feathers at the sudden commotion of their partner.

She tossed and turned for a maybe a half an hour, and being pecked at, before she finally dragged herself up.

Rolling out of bed, the air felt stagnant against her skin. Unsettled dust drifting through the window lights as Kate made her way to the kitchen. Shuffling, shuffling to find a small note waiting for her on the counter.

Her smile just grew, believing it was a little love note. It would've been such a cheesy thing to do. But it still burned Kate's cheeks as she imagined his arrogant phrasing and professing of love. 

However, her expression fractured as she read over the note. The small paper shook in her hand as she stumbled backwards. Kate quickly clutched the counter as she slid down. Her fingers let the note go as she clawed at her hair. Her body was already rocking.

Starly panicked as her partner collapsed. She chirped and chirped, fluttering her wings about from the counter.

"Starly, phone," Kate cracks, "Bring my phone." Her breath shambled in her lungs as the tears returned. The pokemon quickly flew out, returning within seconds. A smartphone clutched in its talons.

Kate took it and quickly opened up her contacts. She called Keith. Called him again. One more time. He's gonna pick up maybe on this next time.

Each voicemail she left, the more hysteria filled her voice.

Finally, her shoulders sunk. Her eyes emptily stared down at her ringing phone. She knew there would be no answer. So she hung up on her own. But she needs someone. Anyone.

She slides easily to the person. A cheery voice picking up within seconds, "Kate? Sweetie! How are you?"

"Rhythmi!" Kate cried. Her choked sobs blocking each word she tried to mumble out.

"Woah, woah! Slow down, hun! Kate, Kate tell me what's wrong?"

Kate took a breath. The air felt like a rock dropping her lungs as she said, "He's gone. Keith... He left."

Silence filled the other line. Kate could make out a few scrambled noises as if things were being moved around. A horn blared in the background as screeching tires made Kate wince. "Shit... I'll be there soon, Kate. I'm in my car now and on my way."

***

"My darling Kate,

Before I write anymore, I want you to know how much I love you. I love you so, so, much that it could fill an entire ocean, and there'd still be love spilling over. But this love-- it hurts. So much that it's killing me.

It's killing me to watch you fade away, my love.

It seems as if every day, you walk farther and farther away as we sit right next to each other. It's like you're a ghost. And I don't know what to do. I'd give the world to make you smile, darling. But I'm not even sure the world is enough. Is anything enough to keep the nightmares at bay? To keep the shadows away? 

Yes. There is one thing. Cresselia's Lunar Wing.

It's an ancient artifact given by the legendary to those who are deserving. Legends go that it wards away the darkness of one's mind. The nightmares. The sickening that thoughts that tear you further from me.

I want to make you happy again. So I am leaving to find the Lunar wing. I've taken leave from being a ranger. And I don't know when I'll be back. Arceus, I don't even know where this quest will take me. Maybe all the way across the world.

But hold strong my love,

I will be home soon. 

-Keith Dazzle"

Rhythmi shook her hair as she read the note. Blonde curls bounced around with the same rage she held, "that idiot..." Her teeth gritted as she crumpled the note. "Kate, look at me, look at me," Rhythmi asks. She garnered a slight glance, and Rhythmi took it. She marched, defiant clacks of her heels echoing on the kitchen tile, as she crumpled the note in her hand. 

Once arriving to the trashcan, she tossed it away.

"Keith is an idiot, we've known this for years. But this is most Arceus awful thing he's done," Rhythmi said as she slid beside Kate on the floor, "That prick."

Kate just remained as a statue. Starly plucked at her partner, but not a reaction more. Rhythmi's eyebrows knit as she sadly looked at her best friend. The operator sighed as she pulled Kate into a hug. They silently sat there as time stretched in a melody of ticks from the kitchen clock.

"Why," Kate whispered, "Why did he think he had to do everything on his own?"

Months passed, and the nightmares returned. Keith's death burning into her mind as she constantly checks the window. She'd turn towards the sky in hopes to see him gliding down on his Staraptor dramatically. But there was nothing.

Rhythmi did the best she could in taking care of Kate. Every day she'd swing by before work to make breakfast, and after work to make dinner. It wasn't abnormal to see Kate depressed. She had her spirals back in ranger school. But this... This just was the straw that broke the Rapidash's back.

On the last night, Rhythmi knocked with her foot on Kate's bedroom door. A tray of spaghetti in her hands, "Katie! Dinner's ready." No response. "Come on, it's getting cold, Kate."

Still, the silence slipped by. Rhythmi sighed, pushing the door open with her eyes closed in a sort of high-and-mighty way, "Geez, Kate, if you keep sleeping like this I'll have to--"

The tray of spagetti splattered against the floor. The glass of milk shattering into thousands of pieces as Rhythmi's scream pierced the air.

The shadow of a swinging body cast over Rhythmi as she dropped to her knees. She choked down the vomit as her eyes raced over the rope hanging onto the ceiling fan. The strong metal beam hitching it to the ceiling stood strong as it held the weight of life. Perhaps death would be the better word.

"Kate--" Rhythmi croaked as tears poured down her face. She tried to rise, but her body wouldn't let her. But her mind screamed to take her best friend down. Maybe she could still save her. The esophagus might not be completely crushed. 

Finally, it all came up. A gross mess of green mush mixed in with the broken meal. The body was so violently pale. The threads digging into the throat. Rhythmi rocked as she tried to figure out something, anything.

This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real.

This can't be real.

***

Kate's eyes flickered open. Her lungs desperately swelling and screaming for air. It was like she hadn't been breathing for years. Kate's fingers scratched at her throat as if she was tearing away an invisble collar. Rising up from bed, she moved her hands away to grasp at everything. The plush blankets reminding her that this was real.

This was real.

Kate's mind was filled with cobwebs as she tried to recall everything. It was difficult to sort out what had and hadn't really happened. But one thing stuck in her mind, "Keith!"

Sheets were thrown about as Kate dashed out. The dark night tripping her down to the floor, but it was just a small obstacle. Within moments she was back to her feet and tearing down the hall towards the living room.

There, as if waiting for her, was her love's silhouette as he packed a small duffel. A single amber lamp burned into her teary face as she watched Floatzel bustle around, delivering supplies to Keith.

"Don't go," She said quietly.

Keith jumped, swinging around, "Kate? I thought you were asleep."

Kate shook her head. Her shoulders trembled, "So kind of you to walk out on me when I'm sleeping." Venom dripped on her tone as she tried to cough it away, "Why? Why are you trying to leave?"

His amber eyes winced. Keith stepped forward, trying to place a hand on Kate's shoulder. She drew back. She refused to let him touch her. Keith's posture slouched as he began, "Kate... I love you, so, so much."

"Then why are you leaving?" She repeated.

"Because Kate, It's killing me to see you like this."

Kate turned her head. Her nose twisting, "Like what?"

Keith immediately jumped, knowing he just stepped on an Arbok. He tried to shake it off as he stepped forward once more, "Like this!" he motioned to her disheveled and unkempt appearance, "It feels like you are fading away from existence. And I just don't know what to do, Kate! I want to help you--"

"I'm going to therapy, Keith. I'm trying." She pushed her hands into her chest, "The first session was today. I wasn't going to just be magically fixed in an hour of 'talking about my feelings'. It's more complicated than that. Depression is more complicated than that."

Keith recoiled at "depression". His eyes falling, "I-- I thought this was part of darkrai's nightmare power. Depression? No. No! I've known you for years, Kate. You've been a bundle of sunshine since I've met you."

"Well Keith, this is me." Kate whispered, "It's easier to smile and laugh then tell people about this storm that's going on inside my head. According to the therapist, she thinks Operation Brighton just pushed me over the edge. And honestly, it probably is."

"But-- The nightmares! Those have to be Darkrai," Keith's voice rose as he threw his arms out. Kate couldn't tell if he was trying to convince her that she wasn't depressed. Or himself.

Kate shook her head, "Things aren't that simple, Keith."

"But maybe it is," Keith said as he dug out his laptop. Signing in, he quickly opened up the same tabs Kate had peered in on hours earlier. "Look. This is the Lunar Wing, from the legendary, Cresselia. It's said to ward away nightmares incurred by Darkrai. But, others have also said it works on regular nightmares. And sadness. And-- everything else. And you remember in the Haruba desert, guarding the yellow gem... It was Cresselia. Please, just let me try and find it. See if it helps."

Kate looked at the the photos with questioning eyebrows, "Keith... This is nothing more than a legend..."

"I have to try, Kate. Please. I'll be back in a few weeks, I promise."

The nightmare seeped back as these words seemed all too familiar. She hook her head, "No. Not unless you take me with you." Kate looked up, a mixture of sadness and rage whirling behind her blue eyes.

Keith's expression rose, "Kate, you haven't been in the field in years."

"That doesn't matter. I'm not letting you go off on your own," Kate's voice commanded. "Do you remember ranger school? When you chased after that thief on your own and everyone thought you'd stolen the stylers? Rhythmi and I were on your side. We defended you and saved your ass when it came to light that you didn't actually steal anything. But you're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Trying to do everything on your own." 

Kate didn't listen to Keith's rebuttal as she pushed past him. Her hands dug through the duffel. She threw out clothes that would never work on a desert trek, and she stated such. Keith finally succumb to the authority that was his wife.

The former ranger turned with a small glint in her eye, "what would you do without me?"

Her husband laughed hollowly, "Alright, I get it. But... Let's stop then for tonight. Get a good sleep and leave in the morning."

"Agreed."


	7. Chapter 7

The sun scorched the sky and burned all that lived below it. All that's left was the shifting desert sands racing against sheer cliffs. 

Kate squinted through the blistering sand and light, wondering if there were actually cactus's below them-- or pokemon. Her steps were awkward, the shoes just slightly too big as she made her way across the trail. leaning over to see what crawled across the desert, Kate teetered closer to the edge.

Without warning, a rock shifts beneath her foot. Kate's stomach plummeted when her body turned to a loose doll. A scream stayed locked away in her chest as the only point of fear was seen through a tear drop slowly falling away.

"No ya' don't," Kieth's husk voice laughed. His head shot out and pulled Kate back from the edge. She found herself nestled against Kieth's chest. His chin set on the top of her head while she stared out across Haruba desert. A fearow dashed just inches away as it swooped up towards the endless sky. "Can't back out of this adventure that easily," he said.

Kate breathed a couple of times before letting a smile rise, "Like I'd want to." She turned to look at her husband, "Maybe I just wanted an excuse for you to hold me?"

The two began to laugh as Kieth rolled into a dramatic spin, dipping Kate as if they had been dancing, "You know you don't have to nearly die to get that." Kieth gave a small smooch to her forehead, "Just gotta ask."

She chucked. Kate gave a spin to dance out of Kieth's arms as she has him twirling on her finger, "Of course, my darling." A strong gust tossed the rangers off balance and they broke onto the ground together. The two were broken into fits of giggles as the grains of stands rubbed their arms raw.

Kieth was the first up, extending a hand to Kate, "Well, you wanted to join me on this adventure. Let's keep moving."

Their hands locked and with a strong heft, the two were back on their feet. Starly swirled above to keep watch. Her shadow occasionally rolling over the rangers in her patrol. Floatzle trudged beside Kieth. The Pokemon's floating ring expanded with water to keep the orange-furred creature cool in the sweltering heat.

Sweat was like a coat of plastic building on Kate's forehead. The mirages the desert gave blurred her vision with each tired step she took further and on. Occasionally, she'd turn to see Kieth burning through it all. Not even the terrain could knock the smile from his face.

For a moment, the two caught eyes, and his smile only grew wider. Like small children, Kate turned her head away. Her cheeks turning even more head than the desert could make her.

"You know," Kieth spoke, "I know I was against this but... It's really nice to be going out on a mission again with you. It brings back memories."

Kate turned back with her eyebrows rose, but a meowth's smirk pulled at her lips. Words pulled out before she could stop, "Yeah. Me too. Like the memory of when I saved your sorry ass in this very desert."

"Hey! I would've gotten out of that!" Kieth shrieked, a blush burning him up even more.

His wife nodded, "Oh yeah, of course. You looked completely ready to escape at any moment while Blake's goons had you tied up in their helicopter. With a gun at your temple. Perfect."

Kieth waved his arms around, "it would've been fine. You shouldn't have traded me for the Yellow Gem."

"They were going to kill you, Kieth."

"And I'm willingly to die proudly for the Rangers."

Kate froze in her steps. Eyes locked on Kieth's inferno of hair as he continued on. Her breath was hitched in her throat as every nightmare she ever had overwhelmed her. Cracking like the dehydrated stone beneath her feet, she spoke, "Please. Don't say that."

Her husband looked back over his shoulder, "You say something, hun? The wind is getting pretty strong. It's a bit difficult to hear."

Immediately, the hairs on Kate's neck rose. Anything said moments ago fell away when she turned up to the skies to look for Starly, but not a soul was in the skies. She looked back at Kieth with worry. "Have you seen Starly?" she bellowed across the vast desert with hands cuffed around her mouth.

Her eyes widened. Every nerve screamed as she bolted towards Kieth who seemed farther away than he was just a second ago. Behind him were three Cacturne. Their needled bats of arms raised to tumble.

"Kieth, look out!" 

At least that was what Kate wanted to scream. But the words were tugged away when sand choked her throat out. Suffocated, Kate collapsed to her knees as she reached out.

Floatzle was the first to try to go. As he spun around, claws bared to tear up enemies, the needle arm came into his side. One of the emerald Cacturne flung Floatel into the rocks. A chilling crack sent zubats fluttering around in Kate's stomach.

Her body started to lock up, unable to move when the second Cacturne struck Kieth. Needles digging into his skin. When they were pulled from his face, blood spit out like a water gun against the pokemon. Waterfalls raced down Kate's face as she curled further and further up. Her body refusing to listen to her commands to stand. Kieth was flung from the cliff side. It was a few seconds before she heard the thump.

Finally, her throat set her free. The spell broke as she screamed. Her body unwound as she fell limp against the baking stone. She watched the Cacturne as the started to hobble away. "Why? Why are you leaving me? Answer me!"

Tears pooled to soak the earth beneath her. The pokemon took no mind to her voice as it fell away in the wind.

"Answer me! Don't leave me here along!"

They were so distant now. Just specks on the horizon.

"Kill me!"

But no one heard her cries as she sobbed. The ruby specks reflecting light where the love of her life was just standing. He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. Her mind kept repeating. He is strong. He landed on his feet.

But none of the words helped when she got up. A blur of the world as she found her way down the cliff face. A world of golden sands blew by as she flung herself towards the body. His leg was bent backwards and head twisted. Amber eyes staring into nothing as sand clung to the iris.

It didn't stop Kate.

Once she reached the body, she began to pound on his chest. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 beats. 

her knit fingers pushed repeatedly over his heart. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 beats.

Sweat and tears mingled down Kate's face. Small droplets mixing with the blood that still oozed from Kieth. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 beats. 

"Kieth please," she said with a twisted face between labored pants. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 beats.

"Give up."

"No."

"Give up, dearest Katelyn."

"I said no!" Kate whipped around, arms still pumping the CPR. There in the wretched desert was the most wretched man Kate had ever met. 

Blake Hall stood with his shoulders rolled back and a deathly calm about him. His pristine black-tie suit not even worn in the slightest by the roaring sands. His dark shades reflected the sun back into Kate. "He's already dead, my dear."

Kate shot up, but her steps falling back, "You-- you're supposed to be in prison right now."

He shrugged, a terrifying curl pulling across his lips, "You thought I was going to be there forever? A rich, white man? Even a murderer can get out early if they have a good plea deal. Now Kate, why don't you just give up?"

The ranger's clenched fists trembled. The skin of her knuckles melting white, "... He's dead."

"Oh, darling. That's not what I meant." Blake took small steps forward with his hands wrapped behind his back. Kate stumbled further back. The heels of her boots scratched against the rocky wall. She tried to slow but it was too fast as she slammed back into the cliff wall.

He was unreadable past the small smile painted ear to ear. "Life, darling," Blake Hall said, "is the true game that no one can ever win."

Kate shook her head as she was nose to noes with Blake, "that's a lie..."

His smile stuck into her heart as Blake Hall looked back at Kieth's mangled body, "Look at that blundering fool, he's the perfect example. In the end, we all lose. Time screws us all over." He slipped his shades down before turning back to Kate. He revealed a pair of inky blue eyes that mirrored hers, "You can't escape the eternal darkness, Kate. You run and run, mistake after mistake, but in the end... He'll be waiting for you at the end with a coffin your size."

"Just give up, Kate."

"Give in to the darkness, Kate."

"We're waiting for you."

"This struggle is pathetic."

His hand reached out, fingers stretched, "Just take my hand, and you can escape it all, Kate."

Kate's body shivered as if she were in a blizzard. Her hand timidly rising towards his. Though a bolt ran through her. She gave all control away as she snagged Blake's wrist. Using his greater weight against him, Kate spun the billionaire around and threw him against the wall she was once pinned onto.

A haze glazed over Kate's eyes as her hands comfortably fit around Blake's throat. Her iron grip digging into his throat as the man gasped like a Magikarp on land. A sneer crept onto her face as she could feel his esophagus crackling. His Adam's apple bobbing as she pushed it deeper into his neck. The hair on the back of Blake's neck tickled her hands as they slipped between her fingers.

Blood gurgled and pulsed up his throat, trying to reach his brain. But Kate wouldn't let it. She wouldn't let him live. "Join the darkness you oh so crave," she hissed as her nails dug deep into his skin. Everything was so real. Every choked breath. The sweat dripping on her hands. The helpless expression of Blake Hall as he stared at the sky, mouth agape with stifled words flailing with his tongue. He tried to claw her hands away, but he couldn't stop her. No one could.

Finally, all struggles ended. All of Blake Hall's weight dropped as Kate let him slip through. With a disgusted spit into his face, Kate finished it with a stop on his already crushed neck.

Her smile faded as the shadows rose. Tendrils of darkness wrapping around her ankle. A pit opened up beneath her. Kate flailed and thrashed as the little hands rose to grasp hers. Images of a tower touched her mind. A black crystal. Wails erupted through the desert, and she wasn't completely sure they were her own as a shadow snaked around her mouth.

A wind howled around her as she spiraled into nothingness. Kate reached out into an empty void as if she could grasp a hand to hold.

And one appeared.

Her parents phased in, like ghosts. Their faces twisted in disgust, "How could we raise a daughter this badly?"

She wanted to speak. She really did. But Kate's words were all stolen by the darkness. As they disappeared, the chairman came into view.

Her head was low as it shook, "You've been nothing but a disappointment since you joined the rangers."

Kate's heart fractured. The old woman was whisked away as Rhythmi stood before Kate with empty eyes. "You're just so selfish, Kate. I've hated you since I first met you. But I knew being friends with you would bring me into a good position one day."

She shook her head, dashing forward to run right through Rhythmi's ghost. "Kate," a voice she knew all too well spoke from behind. When she spun around her head was shaking. She didn't want to hear this one. Not this one. Her hands cupped her ears, and eyes squinted shut. But that couldn't stop Kieth's voice as he said, "I never actually loved you. Arceus, how could anyone love a monster like you?"

Not a soul was left in sight, but their voices shouted against Kate. She curled up, hoping to shut them all out as all the people she loved called her a failure. The only voice she could find of her own yelled at them all to shut the hell up. To leave her alone. To go away. Words she would never say to them as they spat poison to her.

Soon, however, all voices were a single one. Kate heard her own voice shouting that she was a failure. Tearing her apart piece by piece with an army of words that she had no way to defend against.

And finally she said, "welcome to the darkness."


	8. Chapter 8

"No!" Kate howled into the night. A cold sweat sent chills down her spine as her arms flailed to push her upright. Her throat burned as if she had been using flamethrower for hours. The red sleeping bag wrapped around her unzipped with the sudden movement.

Kate hastily looked around the small tent. Labored breaths struggled to get any air. The fabric home seemed to shrink in on her, pushing the ranger into a small ball. Her eyes raced over and over her fingers. Each crease in her palm. Dirt under her nails.

Arceus, it felt so real. It felt too real. She could still feel the throat at her fingertips, the air leaving under her crushing grip. Could she have--?

Whipping around to face the body beside her, Kate sunk down next to Keith. Her fingers traced over his Adam's apple and down his neck. She desperately hoped for a pulse. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream.

But it was so real. What if she had strangled him in her sleep?

Keith grumbled. His chest puffing up with air as an amber eye cracked open, "Kate? Why are you feeling up my throat?" His voice was hoarse and cracking, but there. He was alive.

The cold desert night settled on Kate's shoulders as her eyes watered. "I thought you were dead," she broke.

Her husband was quick on the jump when he sat up. His arms wrapping around Kate's shoulders to keep her in his warm embrace, "It was just a dream, sweetie. I'm right here, alive and well." Keith unzipped his half of the sleeping bag. Gingerly, he snuggled her closer.

Kate was just positioned against his chest as they both laid down. The winds shuttered the tent flooded by shadows. Kate drifted slowly back into slumber as she snuggled closer to Keith.

When dawn broke on the horizon, the two were already on the move. Starly took sky patrol and Floatzel fronted lookout as they traveled. Kate often tugged at her old uniform. The red jacket just a little more loose than she remembered. Her brown hair was pulled into a single ponytail bobbing behind her head as they marched forward.

The desert was barely awake as sand whipped against an old temple.

The ancient building entrance was a giant mouth. The rounded shape of a Hippowdon's skull. Thick tusks made of stone spewed up from the sand. As Kate turned her head to see higher, she winced at the sun's burning glare. The ranger pulls an arm to block the light away to meet the temble's ruby eyes glinting at her.

"I already feel exhausted looking at this," Kate muttered as Keith walked up beside her.

He smirked. Keith stretched out his arms in an air rearing to go, "Really? You're not excited for the quick-sand projectiles and spring leaves flying you across the room?"

Kate scoffed while pushing into the first room, "What about the tile room that moves you in all directions and you cross your fingers to find the right path? Man, that one made me sick to my stomach. I almost wondered if it was worth saving you."

"Hey!" Keith crowed, a smile sneaking further onto his face. His shoulders rolled back when he nudged Kate, "I would've been fine."

"Uh-huh," Kate muses as they make it further. As they entered the first room, the golden sandstone under her feet shifted. Sand crunched under each trudging step. Keigth pats her on the shoulder with a small smile.

The shadowed room was suddenly trembling. Three Golems rolled out. Their bodies pieced together of rocks and pebbles. Their white fangs pearling bright as they hissed at the rangers.

Keith slid into capture position, his hand clapping onto his fine styler. He ejected his capture disk and was already circling two together, "Kate, grab the third!"

Kate shrunk back, back getting closer to the exit however Starly swept in on her shoulder and started to blow up a small wind storm. The Golem tried its best to hold solid as the grains of sand whipped the air around, eventually pushing the creature over.

Taking in a deep breath, Kate carefully traced over her own styler. Vatonage. Bringer of light. To break through the darkness.

Muscle memory kicked in as her muscles turned to water. Each movement fluid as she drew circles about the creature. It charged towards her. Wind gathered at the point of its skull.

Kate leapt out of the way, her arm pulling her capture line just in the way. The glorious blue light shattered and she watched as her styler drop in health. Hissing, Kate recuperates and continues to loop around.

An eternity passed before the words "capture success" appeared on her screen. She stumbled back to a near wall to slide down. She panted with sweat soaking her brow. Kate stole a glance up to Kieth who barely broke a sweat, "How long was that?"

"About a minute. You're getting rusty on me, Hitomi," He laughed with an extended hand.

Gladly accepting it, Kate smirked back, "That is Hitomi-Dazzle, thank you good sir."

Their adventure went on. The dry ruins cracking at Kate's throat with each breath she took. Pokemon attacked them left and right, and as Keith took on the bulk of them, Kate still found herself fighting stragglers. She quickly drained her water, and regretted it as they stood in Cresselia's underground oasis.

Or, what once was an oasis.

All the glittering fresh water that once was painting Kate's memory was gone. The emerald grass shriveled up and dead. Small Bellosom huddled in the corner of the temple. As Kate passed where the pool of water once flooded, she saw deep down into a dark cavern. The pokemon here had become desperate. Digging deeper and deeper, hoping to unearth even the smallest drop of water.

A rancid smell rose from the pit. Keith stood on the bridge branching its way to the heart of Hippowdon temple. "Death. That's the smell. Pokemon must've died digging deeper to find any bit of water," He said as he stared at a boxed room across from him. One that once held the yellow gem. The one mission he failed, "I wonder if Cresselia is even here..."

"And what if she isn't?" Kate asked, stepping beside Keith to look into the room.

"Up for a trip to Sinnoh? Heard about Cresselia sightings there every few years," Keith jested as he started forward.

"Hey, I'm only here for this mission, and so are you! If Cresselia isn't here, I'll tell you what we do," Kate quickly paced after him as the walked through the heart's opening, "We are going to sleep in our real bed for a solid day."

"Arceus, Kate--"

The ranger turned to face her husband, oblivious to the scene around, "I don't think I said anything too bad."

Keith just shook his head, amber eyes locked with the image in front of him, "No... Kate, look."

She craned her head and immediately her jaw was falling. Cresselia floated before them, small pokemon in a sound sleep huddled around her. Color was drained from the legendary as her crescent head rose. A lavender light veiled over the pokemon glistened as some sort of shield.

"What more do you humans want?" A womanly voice echoed into their heads.

Before Keith could jump Kate answered a question pressing onto his mind, "She's a psychic type. Thus Telepathy," looking back Kate said, "What happened here?"

The pokemon's violet eyes narrowed, "When we lost the Yellow Gem, we lost what power was given to this harsh land to thrive. It only took weeks for the water to evaporate. And after that, the grass and vibrant plant life ran dry." Cresselia glanced down to the small Skorupi and Bronzor cuddled beneath her, "These little ones were just hatchings when they lost their parents to this drought. Thus I bring it upon myself to protect them."

Kieth's breath hovered just above his heart, "Is-- Is there anything we can do?" The original intent of this mission was lost as they were left with this world before them.

Cresselia shook her head tiredly, "No. The Gems power I know is needed elsewhere. Not just for the lives of the pokemon here, but all of the ones across Almia. If you have no purpose here, please leave us in peace."

"Are you sure?" Kate took a step forward, and immediately Cresselia went into a ridged state. As if raising her hackles. "We could evacuate the pokemon who are unable to sustain themselves in this environment to a better one. We'd have to call the other rangers to help, but it's possible. Like, get the grass types to a forest at least."

Cresselia relaxed, but the drawn sadness in her eyes still didn't waver, "This is all they know. A forest would shock them too much. No, it is better this way. Those who adapt, will survive. Those who do not, well it would at least end their suffering soon."

"I understand, but if I can request a boone from you Cresselia," Keith walked infront of Kate, lacing hands with hers. "Kate, here. Since she has fought Darkrai has suffered terrible nightmares. And-- I ask for one of your Lunar feathers. To ward away the darkness wrapped around her."

The legend peered closer to Kate. She slipped from her nest and circled the two rangers, "You have a darkness about you, young child. But I hold no promise that one of my lunar wings can help in keeping it at bay."

"Please," Keith cracked.

"As I do for all boones and wishes made of me," Cresselia led the two out into the dead courtyard. On the bridge platform, she spun around, "You must defeat me in a battle. Or, in this case, capture me. Once you do, I will give you whatever you ask for if it is within my power."

The two rangers nodded and took a side around the legend. They had each danced with this Cresselia before, but only Kate had one. And now, she's barely as good as a ranger out of the Academy.

Cresselia fluttered her hovering disks before nodding at the two rangers, "let us begin."

"Capture on!" The rangers' harmonized. Both slammed on their stylers and the capture disks shot out with a brilliant tail.

They traced circle after circle and Cresselia let loose waves of ultraviolet balls of raw energy. Kate winced at each time her line shattered. Kieth was dancing on the edges of the bridge when she sent out stationary pools of psychic shock in his direction.

Sand was thrown up and into Kate's eyes, "Starly! Use whirlwind!"

The dark feathered companion chirped as she beat her wings relentlessly. The dust was thrown behind and Kate lunged with her next circle but Cresselia was two steps ahead of her as she released a psychic force field. Kate's capture disk just bounced off and broke Kate's heart.

Cresselia dropped the field as she inched closer to Kate. "Don't worry, hun! I got you're back!"

Keith flew in from above and was badly looping around the legendary who, for a psychic type, didn't see the flanking coming.

Time passed like sand through an hourglass. Grain by grain drained all of them. Kate's breath shuttered in her ribs with her trembling arms. Her hair was free, the ponytail having fallen out moments ago. Keith was coated with sweat, seeping through his red jacket, but his cocky smirk was impossible to chip away.

Even Cresselia was desperately on her last leg. With a large breath, the pokemon's entire body shook. It flickered with black and white light blinding all those who were present. Memories flooded back to Kate, "Everyone, hit the floor!"

Her voice echoed across the room as even Starly flattened herself against the grey-stoned bridge. Kate herself was dropping down, but the years of training had grown stale.

Cresselia released a beam of white and violet, breaking into the walls around them. The legendary circled her area and just snagged Kate.

The weight of the attack threw Kate over just as the light had died out. And she felt herself falling. The bridge just a centimeter less that what could stop her as her body tugged her down. Down into the pit where a stench of death enraptured her.

The world slowed, and Kate caught a glimpse of her loose hair fraying around her vision. A final through raced through her mind as Keith screaming her name filled the ruin. Her beaten down Starly desperately soared with talons just out of reach from Kate. The world grew farther away.

This can't be real.


	9. Chapter 9

A pressure snapped around Kate's ankle. Kate's stomach lunged down into her throat, a tear surged from her eyes to fall into the emptiness.

She tilted her head up as the strained grunts reached her ears.

"Keith, let go," she whispered. Her voice was hoarse as her husband struggled. Half of his body was already slipping off. Sweat dripped from his nose to hiss beside Kate's ear. His biceps quivered as she slipped slowly out. "Kieth, I said let go! If you don't we'll both fall!"

"No!" Keith shouted. He shook his head over and over. The stone beneath him crackles and flaked down, struggling to support the weight. Each crack of the earth rattled in Kate's head as she saw Kieth die. Over and over it played in her mind. Each nightmare she watched him die, or killed him herself. Blood painted over her eyes as she screamed at him to let her fall away.

Cresselia didn't let up her ambush as spirals of raw energy flew over Keith's head. The attacks licked at his hair and over and over Kate imagined the attacks taking off his head. Kate couldn't stand it. So she began to writhe around, her leg flailing to get Keith to release.

Keith's grit his teeth with each heave, "Arceus Dammit, Kate! Stop squirming!"

"Just let me fall!"

A smirk split across his face. A bead of sweat broke down his forehead as he said, "It's my turn to save ya'." His arm swung her once, twice. 

Three times. She was up in the air.

Kate's expression shattered as her finger grasped the ledge. Her glazed eyes watched as Keith slipped passed. His lips shaping into the words, "I love you". He used his weight to counteract and throw her up to reach the surface.

She didn't know what else to do but scream. Wordless noise crackling her throat as he thumped down at the bottom. A small voice told her to let go. To join him.

No, no, no, no, shut up!

Her arms trembled in an attempt to lift her back up. It told her she was a waste, destroying others potential.

That's not true!

Tears that seemed to flow so freely fell against the grey brick bridge as she found herself on all fours. Kate's entire body shook as she was finally on solid ground. This was her fault. All her fault. She should just stop. She should've fallen. She should be dead.

No. Better.

She shouldn't have existed in the first place.

Kate tore her fingers into her scalp, and pulled out strands of hair by the root. The shouting thoughts of darkness corroded her insides. Death would just feel so much better than this migraine in her head. Her head. Her head. Her head. Her head.

Get out of her head!

Kate's chest crushed and contracted. As if her ribs were made of lead. They pulled closer and closer to the Earth and her heart throbbed. Her breathing slowed. The situation running into a game in her brain.

She looked up with a sort of tilted smile, "This is a dream. It has to be." Kate erupted into laughter. Tears continued to drip down her chin, but the manic grin stayed plastered on. "Come on, time to wake up now!"

Still, it all remained.

"Wake up!"

"I will wake up!"

But Kate's pleas weren't answered. She shook her head, and slammed her fist against her shoulder. Over and over. Dark bruises formed within seconds, "Wake up, wake up, wake up, come on, time to wake up!" But nothing changed as she continued to hurt herself.

her fists moved to slam her forehead. One hit after another, the weaker her words became. Her entire body shook as she curled over herself. Kate's curled fingers tore at her temples as she just yell on the top of her lungs, "I said wake the hell up, bitch!"

Tears speckled the stone beneath Kate as she sobbed. Hyperventilated breathing doing nothing but riling Kate up more. Her face and fingers tingled with each meaningless shout to the void. In all her mourning, she had forgotten the enemy waiting just behind.

A wave of psychic shock just kissed the air next to Kate's cheek, hissing into her ear. Flying back, Kate steadied herself back to her feet. Cresselia's violet eyes just stayed tiredly gazing at the human, "Get up and fight, Ranger. The battle is not over."

"This is a dream, though! This can't be real. This stupid, stupid battle isn't real!" Kate threw her arms about the desolate ruins, as if trying to exemplify the meaninglessness of it all.

Cresselia shook her head, throwing out another purple sphere, just exploding over Kate's head. "Delusional human, you think after just losing one person makes this all a dream?" Her ice laced voice stabbed like a headache into Kate's mind, "I have lived for centuries, watching so many of my friends die. I can guarantee you, none of this is a dream. Welcome to reality. Now fight!"

Kate ducked as another psychic attack rammed just above her scalp. Her mind screamed no, told Kate to argue, but her gut saved her life with each swift dodge. Starly crowed above, institutionally already flapping her wings to blow the legendary back. Kate's hair swarmed wildly around her tear-stained face.

Floatzel, trembling but still in one piece, threw out bubbles in an attempt to catch the Cresselia, if only for a moment. His voice calling out to Kate.

She had to do this. She had to finish this battle. Kate clicked her styler, familiar words dripping from her lips, "Capture on."

Thus the dance continued. Pounding desert sands leached into the field. The grains were kicked around by Starly's whirlwind, and Floatzel's bubble beam took them down and made mud. In any other battle, mud would be great for catching the enemy off guard. However, when the enemy is a psychic-type, legendary who can levitate, it was more of a struggle for Kate as she spilled onto her butt. Dark dirt stained her red uniform, tears tore through her shirt leaving bear and bloody patches at her side.

Her lungs heaved with each circle. Every click, white sparks flew but changed nothing. It only told Kate how much longer she had. And at this rate, that would be about a century before completing this capture. Sweat blurred Kate's vision, and burned all the open cuts, but she couldn't stop. If she did, then what was the point of all this?

Sand lodged itself into Kate's throat, and she was left in a coughing heap, but still she rose. Each breath hitched in her throat, but her dashing blue line never stopped as she raced to defeat Cresselia. Sun burned into Kate's neck, her flushed skin beating like an ambulance light.

But still she forced each step further. One circle after another. One attack slamming against her shoulder after each step. Her eyes focused on the gauge on her styler.

Just a little bit more...

Psychic energy blazed in a fight to keep Kate at bay. Starly and Floatzel were already knocked out, panting on the sidelines. Nothing stopped Kate as her left arm steadied her right for each circle. Narrowed blue eyes meeting violet ones. Cresselia's shield only surged more with power, sending Kate a slip back.

"Capture complete!"

Kate's voicemail chirped.

All the swirling winds vanished, leaving Cresselia to calmly float in front of Kate. She bent her crecent head to Kate's still extended hand, nuzzling it gently, "You have won, Kate Valentina Hitmoi-Dazzle."

With the simple gesture, every ounce of energy that kept the ranger tumbled down with her down to her knees. Her hand retracted down.

"What is your wish, Kate?" Cresselia hushed, "You had a boone to ask of me, no? Let us finish this."

Kate nodded, her broken voice knowing exactly what she needed, "Bring him back."

"What do you mean?"

"Keith... The man who gave his life for mine. Bring him back to me," Kate said, a fire of life still burning at the end of her no longer empty eyes.

Cresselia didn't question any more. She just closed her eyes, and from the pits of darkness, Keith's limp body emerged. She gingerly set him into Kate's tired arms, "I... I am no miracle worker. I cannot restore life to the dead. But luckily for you, he's not dead."

Kate's eyes shot up from the body she cradled.

"But he is dying. I was able to bring him up and momentarily stabilize him, but I am in an extremely weak state." Cresselia continued, starting to disappear with a teleport, "You must save him, Kate. Get him to a hospital. And hopefully, I won't have to see you again."

A small smile broke across Kate's face as the legendary left, "Thank you."

Once she was left alone, Kate opened her styler, "Paging Rhythmi of the Ranger Union, Paging Rhythmi of the Ranger Union. This is extremely urgent. Two rangers injured and one's in critical condition."

She didn't even have to wait a second before Rhythmi's melodic voice chimed on, "Dear Arceus? Kate you're in the field. Is everything okay? Where are you? What happened?"

 

"Haruba desert. Send me the nearest hospital directions ASAP," Kate ordered, "I'll explain everything to you later. I promise."

Rhythmi's words hitched, as if she wanted to say more, but stopped. A couple moments passed and Kate's styler lit up with a map, "sent. I'll hold you to that promise, Katie. Over and out."

Starly rose from her roost with Floatzel at her side. The team was moving out. Kate swept her husband up, "You've carried me so far for so many years. Now it's my turn." She tore at her jacket to wrap a mask around Keith's half-open mouth. Kate gave herself a mask as she left the Temple.

A savage sandstorm tore across the desert. No one could see even a foot ahead as the trudged through the needle-striking sand. Starly flapped over to shield Kate's head while the ranger struggled to stay walking straight. Occasional stolen glances to her map made sure she didn't turn off the wrong way.

Heat boiled Kate and the sand blistered all skin she had exposed. The grains filled her guts. each strike like a knife digging into her. Still, she walked. The make-shift mask often flew up, and the razor sands lodged into her nose. Kate coughed and heaved with each step she took.

Her map blinked, "You have arrived at your destination!"

Kate rose her head slowly, barely making out the silhouette of a building. She knew Rhythmi was never wrong and continued forward. 

The electric doors slid open as it sensed her presence. Kate stumbled through with a weak grip on Keith. Nurses and doctors all turned and you could hear the horror in their gasps. One nurse in a pink set of scrubs raced over, "My Arceus, Ma'am! Just breathe, you're safe. Joe, get a gurney here, stat!" The nurse did her best to steady Kate, but at no avail.

Kate's body gave up. She crumbled down and let Keith's body sag down to the tiled floors. A small lunar feather materialized between Kate's open hand. her eyes momentarily caught it, the vibrant blue and green swirling in her mind as people swarmed them.

Her sore face broke into one more smile before the dark overtook her.


	10. Chapter 10

"I've been here before," Kate said as she stepped through the darkness. Her arms coiled themselves, ready for a fight. The hair on the back of her neck stuck up line pins. It was the cold feeling as if someone were watching you.

However, Kate paid no mind as she trekked through the aimless eternity. Her footsteps held no echo, and not a single wind blew. There was nothing to see. Hear. Feel. Kate felt numb. The only think keeping her centered was the piercing glare in her back. She wondered it she could shake it, but nevertheless it followed her. Never gaining an inch closer or farther away.

"I know you're there," the woman said quietly. Her shoulders were relaxed as the shadows seemed to dance, "Reveal yourself."

From the smokes, a man started to form. Kate's eyes grew flatter as Blake Hall stood before her, just inches from her nose, "You called for me?"

Kate shook her head, "No. I didn't." She threw her arm, dispersing shadows across the darkness. She spun around, trying to follow the fading black wisps, "Show me who you really are."

From the distance, she could make out the image of her parents, "Have you really forgotten who we are?" They stepped closer and closer but Kate simply turned away. Denying they were true.

Then before her, Kate's young sister appeared. Not the older robotics expert who dreamed of being a mechanic. The small child she remembered playing tag with across the fields in her satin blue dress stood before her. The girl had pigtails that bobbed as she rolled on her feet, "I'm the madness in everyone that you try so, so hard to locked away."

The ranger didn't bat an eyelash as she walked through her sister, as if she wasn't even there. From the corner of her vision, Kate made out the shape of her best friend. Blonde curls flying everywhere, and stray hairs coating the green school uniform.

"I'm the voice you try to quiet in the light of day," Rhythmi sung. 

Erma came to face her next, "The voice that overwhelms you when you're left alone."

Kate threw her hand threw the old woman's face as she continued to walk straight. "You aren't showing me who you are," She hissed with each stomp. Her pace picked up as all the people she met in life raced by. Ms. April, who taught her at Ranger School. Browly, her target-clearing mentor. Voices shouting all at once with words Kate struggled to understand. Isaac, the misguided kid-genius. Blake's second, the idiotic Wheeler. The shifting and forming shadows tried to lead Kate away. Tendrils reached out to snap her wrist, fruitlessly falling through.

Because Kate was real.

Finally, she came nose to nose with the love of her life. Keith smiled, an apathetic glaze over his face, "I'm the monster that hides under your bed at night. The one you think you can silence with sleep. But you know it only gets worse."

Kate threw out her arms in an X, crossing the man away. As if giving in, all the shadows melted together. Spiral pillars creating a creature she knew. His body was made out of shadows, as a white plume of smoke simmered from his red crown. A blue eye peaked out at Kate who just continued to shake her head.

"Give in to me, Kate. No matter what," Darkrai said quietly, "You can't get rid of me for I--"

Kate threw her hand into his face. Her fingers bent like claws as she tore the pokemon's face away.

There before her was a girl. Kate was looking in a mirror as the shadows dispersed, leaving the two staring tiredly.

"For I'm you," the reflection hushed, a Litten's smile curling across her lips.

Kate stretched her arm out again, but this time, the speaker was just out of reach. Her fingertips just millimeters from her reflection's nose. But each step she took, the reflection fell back in perfect match.

Giving in, Kate stopped. She simply turned her head. Examining for a few moments before deciding to speak. Her hoarse voice spoke, echoed across the world that once held no sound.

"You aren't me," She said, eyebrows curling up sadly, "You may be a part of me. But you aren't everything. You are a darkness that has haunted me since I was born, one that often gets louder than I would like. You're louder than many other people's darkness. But that doesn't make you anymore powerful. And, I know I can't be rid of you."

The reflection smiled at that, knowing it would always have a home nestled deep within Kate's bones. But Kate held up a hand, to say that the monster was jumping to conclusions.

"You've kept me up till sunrise in our arguments, you've made me do so many things. You've kept me locked away from the world for so long, because I've let you. And the thing is, I'm not completely sure if I can ever really beat you," Kate's breath tugged away. The reflection looked as if it was beckoning it, but Kate stole her air back, "Not on my own. But know this--"

Kate extended her arm for a hand shake.

"I may not ever destroy you. But that's not the role of a ranger. We capture, and keep in control. I will keep you under control."

The reflections smile broke, along with the rest of the illusion. The world pittered away, only to paint a hospital room. The dark shadows were cast away by a dawn slowly cracking over the horizon. From out the window, Kate could make out the sandstorm leaving. 

The beeping of her heart monitor slowed, becoming relaxed. The thick tubes stuck into Kate's right arm pinched. But it was proof she was alive. And this was real.

Kate turned her head, checking the rest of her room. Her monitor spiked the minute she saw Rhythmi curled up in a chair just beside Kate's bed. Her hair was a knotted mess and the Operator uniform was completely disheveled. A thin blanket was placed over her legs that Rhythmi pulled close to her heart.

The patient reached out her hand, gently shaking her best friend, "Rhythmi, hey, wake up."

The blonde just grumbled, shouldering Kate away. A few seconds past before Rhythmi shot up, "Oh my Arceus, you're awake!" she flung her arms around Kate, a tight hug putting an uncomfortable pressure on the arm Kate had bruised herself. "Arceus, I was so worried for you Kate! The minute you said hospital and I sent you the coordinates, I requested temporary leave to find you and Keith. Keith! Oh Mew, what the heck happened, Kate?"

A smile burned at Kate's cheeks. This Rhythmi really hasn't changed, "It's a bit of a long story. Keith and I went to the Hippowdon Temple to get a Lunar Wing from Cresselia there. She-- she wanted to battle first before giving any sort of favor. The battle was really rough. I almost lost my life if Keith didn't save me. And because of that, he was a hair away from death. We were both pretty beat up but..."

"You're both here now," Rhythmi finished, taking her best friend's hand. She could ask so many more questions, but only one question kissed at the back of her lips, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

Kate's words came out so fast, as a prepared answer right at the tip of her tongue. Sighing, Kate shook her head, "No. I'm really not, Rhythmi. I mean, I'm beat to hell, but my bones will heal. I've been sick. For awhile. No, not like cancer before you say it..." Kate couldn't look at her best friend. Her eyes were drawn instead to the corner of the ceiling. Little globs of tears started to form, "I... I have depression, Rhythmi. I've had it for awhile. And, as of the last few years, it's been really kicking my ass. I've recently started seeing a psychologist. I-It's hard to simply just get out of bed, talk to people, or feel anything. And... Rhthmi... " Her voice trailed away. The world doubled around her as Kate shook.

"I hate myself. I hate myself everyday."

Kate was wiping away streams of tears. She still couldn't look at Rhythmi as the blonde woman climbed into the hospital bed beside her, "I thought if I told the voices in my head to shut up enough times, that they'd be wrong. That if I didn't say it out loud it wouldn't be true," Each of Kate's words dribbled out with a quake to each one, "Some days I wish I just was never born to begin with, and think of all the ways I could just die. The ways the others around me could die. And I hate myself for even having those thoughts, Rhythmi! I must be some sort of monster!"

Snot had built up and was already running down Kate's face. Her body was trapped in a world of freezing shakes. Rhythmi just listened, wrapping her arms around Kate through the storm. Kate's crying face broke through, twisted and gnarled with raw emotion. Her choked sobs echoed down the hospital, a few nurses stopped by, trying to figure out what's wrong, but Rhythmi just waved them away.

"I know that I have so many wonderful people in my life like you, and Keith, and that everyone says I'm not alone," Kate whimpered, "But every second is filled with this soul-crushing loneliness and I just can't take it Rhythmi. It's killing me, every day."

"Then there are the days where I feel just absolutely nothing. Just a void where happiness, laughter, anger, I'd take the sadness and fear over this suffocating numb feeling. It's like nothing is real, that there's nothing to care about or that anything matters at all because it's all just-- nothing!" Kate finally gave in, curling into Rhythmi's chest, "I-- I can barely even tell Keith this! Because he thinks he can fix me. That some magic feather will take all the darkness that haunts me away, but it won't. There isn't just some cure... I just feel stuck in life forever! Never moving, watching others fly by as I sit here and do nothing but feel like fucking shit.

"It just feels like, no matter what angle I take this, I will never feel happiness again! And I would rather die than live a life like that, Rhythmi! I don't want to be living this life! Every night I just want to give in to all the dark thoughts and just end it!"

Rhythmi's own tears soaked against Kate. The two just cried and cried as the morning sun rose above them. How could anyone want to hear that their best friend didn't want to be in this world? How could a parent imagine losing their child? How could it have gone this far without Rhythmi ever noticing. She thought she knew everything about this Kate. But she realized there was this labyrinth her best friend was lost in that she hadn't anything but a keyhole glimpse in before.

Kate's hands turned numb from all the sobbing, but she couldn't stop. Hiccups took up each word, "I feel selfish for just breathing air some days, Rhythmi. I feel like I'm nothing but a washed up ranger. A failure of a daughter. A failure at being your best friend. And I'm left asking over and over, what's the fucking point? and I hate it. I hate everything inside my mind right now, Rhythmi."

The day carried on. The mess of words and feeling spilled into muddled wails. 

Kate finally spoke tiredly, "I need help, Rhythmi."

Rhythmi replied, "How can I help you?" her soft voice comforting Kate, pulling the girl closer. The simple words just had Kate crying harder. Her wheezing sobs trickled only little bits of air back down.

"I don't know," Kate broke, "I don't know..."

The minutes ticked away, letting the two best friends rock back and forth on the hospital bed. The rest world passed by, as Kate's universe came crashing down.

"The darkness. It's never going to leave me alone, will it? It's not temporary, is it? Half the time, it feels like the happiness is the temporary one."Kate finally breathed, her tears slowing as she pulled Rhythmi closer. The blonde hair caught in her mouth, but she didn't mind. Her words came out quietly, like a rattata scattering through.

Rhythmi nodded, still keeping Kate close. Carefully pulling back, she came face to face with the mess of her best friend. Brown hair knotted into her face, eyes swollen and red, and skin ghostly pale. "Kate, I love you. And I will be here for you through every step, until you can love yourself." She took Kate's weak and shaking hand, "I... I can't know what you're going through Kate. Because, I'm not in your head. But if you are willing to work to find help, I will be there all the way, supporting you. Because, Kate, I can't imagine going on a single day, knowing you aren't in this world. And I know these words might be meaningless to you now, but I still want to have midnight gossip phone calls. I want you to be the Maid of Honor at my wedding. I want us to take that just-girls road trip in Alola. I want you, and no one else, to be my best friend and I am so glad that you're in my life.

"And if you aren't happy in this world, then... I can't let that stand. I don't want to ever lose you Kate. I know Keith feels the same way. I know your parents do. I know your sister wants you to see her graduate, but none of it can change the war going on inside your own mind," Rhythmi stroked down Kate's hair as she smiled at her best friend through all the tears, "I will be your support, your operator, your best friend through it all. And if you think the first step to getting better is antidepressants, I'm with you all the way."

Kate and Rhythmi pressed their foreheads together, fingers interlaced. Kate's soft cries bounced with a small amount of laughter. She couldn't tell why. She just felt everything all at once. "I think... I think maybe I should look into antidepressants. They aren't a cure, my therapist said that... But-- they'd be a step in the right direction... Right?" 

Six words finding Kate's lips. 

"I want to be happy again."


End file.
